Today was a long day.
On my way to a work conference in Baltimore for my new job, I had one of those classic "stuck-in-traffic" moments where my brain wandered into deep life questions- the kind you only seem to have when you're surrounded by brake lights and regrets of drinking too much coffee. Somewhere between wondering if I would make it to the conference on time (thank you torrential rains) and debating if I should go ahead and just make a bathroom stop, I started thinking about nepotism.
Yes, nepotism. Because nothing says, "good morning, Baltimore!" like getting upset about people hiring their cousins.
I thought about all of the times I have seen people land positions or promotions simply because of their last name. Did all of them impact me directly? No. Others were a punch to the gut. But I thought about how frustrating it is when someone who's put in the work, earned the degree(s), and gone above and beyond gets passed over- all because someone else was born into the right family or had the right connections. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how toxic nepotism can be for a workplace.
We've all heard the saying "It's not what you know, it's who you know." But what happens when the "who" in question is Mom, Dad, Uncle Bob, or your best friend Karen? That's when we run into nepotism- the practice of giving jobs, promotions, or special treatment to family members and friends, regardless of whether they are the most qualified person for the role.
At first glance, nepotism can look harmless-even sweet. A parent helping their child get a foot in the door, or a business owner giving their niece their first job, might feel natural. But when family connections start to outweigh skill, experience, and merit, it creates serious problems for the workplace and the people in it.
The Hidden Costs of Nepotism
Morale Takes a Hit
When employees see less qualified individuals get positions that clearly are out of their scope of capabilities, frustration brews. People start to feel like their hard work doesn't matter, because no amount of effort can compete with a last name. This can lead to decreased motivation and resentment.
Talent Gets Overlooked
Nepotism can stifle the diversity of thought and skill. Overtime, this limits growth and innovation.
Workplace Culture Suffers
When favoritism is obvious, it creates an environment where employees feel undervalued and unheard. People may stop speaking up with ideas or concerns because they assume those decisions are already made.
Accountability Gets Messy
Holding family members or friends accountable for mistakes can be awkward. Supervisors may avoid disciplining these individuals to keep the peace, which can set a dangerous precedent for the entire team.
The "But They're Qualified!" Argument
Some defend nepotism by saying "But they have the degree for it!" - as if a diploma alone makes the hire fair. IT DOESN'T. Having the appropriate degree and training is great, but when family members or friends are chosen without an open, competitive hiring process, it still undermines trust. Degrees do not guarantee they were the best candidate for the job-just that they were the most convenient one. Fairness is about opportunity, not just credentials.
The Bottom Line
Nepotism might make for a good family dinner conversation, but it's not great for building a healthy workplace or retaining competent and loyal employees. A culture built on merit, fairness, and transparency creates a stronger, more motivated team- one that grows because of talent not family trees.
For those wondering, I did indeed make it to the conference with ten minutes to spare.