I've skipped an entire month of blogging.


Why? Well, it's a busy time of the year. Yet, for me, it's one of the loneliest. There's a special kind of lonely that happens when your life is full of people, noise, and responsibilities-yet somehow you still feel like the unpaid intern of your household.


Not sad violin lonely.

Not dramatic movie-scene lonely.

More like: "How am I managing an entire household, working outside of the home, but no one seems to realize I exist unless they need something?" lonely.


It's a vibe.

It's a brand.

It's a lifestyle at this point.


There's working a job.

And then there's working a job ....AND running a family like you're the CEO of Domestic Operations with no assistants, no PTO, and a benefits package that includes exactly one moderately warm cup of coffee per day.


I'll be at work doing my thing, solving problems, taking phone calls-then I come home and immediately clock into my second shift.

  • Grocery shopper
  • Chef
  • Appointment maker
  • Event coordinator
  • Ingredient rememberer
  • Hairstylist
  • Calendar keeper
  • The Only One Who Knows When We're Out of Toilet Paper

Yeah, beat that list of skills.


You'd think being surrounded by people all day-coworkers, kids, family-would make loneliness impossible.

But no.

Turns out, you can be in a room full of humans and still feel like the only adult who realizes life is held together by you, three reminders, and a Google search for "easy weeknight dinners" because you're running out of ideas and hanging by a thread.


Everyone around me is present, but I am the one quietly carrying the logistics department of this family on my back. It's hard to feel seen when you're so busy keeping everyone else afloat.


I'm a big lover of magic, but when you are the magic, it's hard. All day long, things materialize because of me:

  • Groceries? Appeared.
  • Supper? Appeared.
  • Snacks for school? Appeared.
  • Clean clothes? Appeared.

People ask, "How do you manage all of that?"

And the answer is:

I don't know. I wasn't given the manual. I simple woke up one day with this superpower and now I can't turn it off.


The truth is, doing everything for everyone-while also doing everything for your job(s)- means there isn't much left over for you.


You get pulled in every direction.

You keep the schedule running.

You hold the mental load, the emotional load, the grocery load, and sometimes the actual physical load of 27 bags because "I'm only making one trip."


You're surrounded by people, yet no one fully understands the mental tabs constantly open in your brain.

I guess you could say I'm like the family's WiFi.

Invisible.

Taken for granted.

Only truly noticed when I stop working.


Yes, it can feel lonely and heavy. But, if I didn't laugh about it, I'd probably cry more in the car than I already do.


Even in the lonely moments- the ones where you wonder if anyone realizes how much you're juggling-you still show up.

For your job.

For your family.

For the appointments, events, the groceries, the details, the things they'll never even know that you handled.


And somewhere in the chaos and exhaustion... there's love. A whole lot of love. (I see all of those Christmas memory making moms out there. The elf movers, the gift buyers, the Christmas card senders, the magic makers).


There's also a mom who deserves a medal, a nap, a personal assistant, or just a night where she doesn't have to cook.


But for now, I hope you feel seen in this.


Because you're doing everything-literally everything- and that is anything but invisible.